Sorry there hasn’t been a post for a while. Here’s the reason why…

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[L] Strong Language: This blog may not be suitable for all visitors. Some material may contain sensitive subject matter including adult language. Thank you.

My Dearest Blog Fans,

Oh, my patient Darlings! Not since the Titantic hit that beast of an iceberg in the Atlantic has such a disaster of catastrophic proportion put this bitch into such a tailspin. Well OMG, Glinda? What happened, for goodness sakes? Tell us! Well then, I’ll tell you………………… “And oh, what happened then was rich. The house began to pitch. The kitchen took a slitch. It landed on the Wicked Witch in the middle of a ditch, which was not a healthy situation for the Wicked Witch.” Well, you get the rest. Oy!

In case you didn’t figure it out, those are the lyrics to “Munchkin Land from the Wizard of Oz. All kidding aside, this is what actually happened to your happy-little-blogger-hostest-with-the-moistest… oops, I mean the mostest! It’s so hard to make this horrendous and very long story short. Why do I even bother to say short? I mean it took me 12 hours to write a symphony of words which as any author knows can NEVER be written the same way twice. Okay, here’s what actually happened: I accidentally deleted my post just after I uploaded a photo I purchased for the post to the draft.

Okay, there. I said it. They say it always gets easier once you say it out loud and accept it. So there, my each and every Sweetum; my individual inspiration for moving forward; my each and every fan who make up a fan base so meaningful to me that I don’t even know where to begin to express my gratitude.

But if I did, I would begin here. And now. With a promise to change the practice of how I write my drafts for Glinda’s blog, I will take a step forward in time and make this declaration. I, GlindaTheGoodBitch, do hereby promise to use a word processor with an auto-save feature to write my posts for the blog instead of writing them directly at the blog’s site, like my dear friend Ike told me he does as suggested by his pimp. (Right, Ike?)

And if despite all this, this EVER happens again, I promise to THROW THIS MOTHER FUCKING HEAP OF SHIT OUT THE WINDOW FROM THE TALLEST BUILDING I CAN DRIVE TO WITHIN A 60 MILE RADIUS OF MY HOME AND TOSS IT WITH ALL MY MIGHT WHILE SHOUTING, “ADIOS, FUCKTARD… I’M GOING BACK TO PAPER AND PENCIL. HALLELUJAH, AMEN!”

I would like to share this with all of you. I was literally beside myself in the early hours of the morning, 12 hours after I began the composition, as I mourned the loss of my symphony. Not only did I feel the deep loss of a friend of mine, but I felt the loss for a friend of yours too that you hadn’t the pleasure of meeting yet. It was truly one of the saddest moments of my life. Yes, I cried glittery-Glinda tears. I spent hours on the phone with everyone I knew who knew anything-and-everything about computers asking if there was anyway I could do to retrieve my new best friend. But they said the odds were slim to none. Most likely, none. I had no choice but to raise the white flag and surrender so I could move forward. I knew it’s what I had to do. It’s what I was raised to do. It’s what I raised my own kids to do. And so I did. I was only a couple of days away from the one month anniversary of the Glinda blog and thanks to you, my fans, and despite the fact that I was not able to publish the very anticipated Potential sweepstakes winners be warned, the site miraculously surpassed 1,000 hits on the night of the One Month Anniversary! THANK YOU, FANS! Thank you, each and every one of you! I thank you from the bottom of my heart. A smooch to each of you from me, GlindaTheGoodBitch! :{} Yes, Glinda’s eyes are green as you can see in my photo. I owe it all to you and I pray you keep tuning in for more. And in return I will strive to write my best for you and outwit my last witty remark and most recent snarky tongue lashing. It’s what I’m good at. I just hope you’re not my next victim, LOL!

So please be patient for just an itsy-bitsy longer and I’ll reward you with a new post that is on the brink of “coming out” [WOO HOO — “LEONARD” THE PRIZE DUCK DROPS FROM THE CEILING — THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE TOO YOUNG TO GET THAT REFERENCE GO TO BED NOW!] The reference comes from the show, You Bet Your Life, hosted by the incomparable Groucho Marx with announcer George Fenneman. A toy duck resembling Groucho with a mustache and eyeglass, and with a cigar in its bill, descended from the ceiling with a $100 bill. If the contestant(s) said the “secret word” during the interview portion of the program, they won a cash prize. And NO, Glinda’s not THAT OLD! She just enjoyed the reruns, that’s all. Harrumph!

Alrighty then, where was I? Oh yes, “coming out”. Coming out to replace what, Glinda? Coming out to replace THE FUCKING POST I DELETED!!! WEREN’T YOU PAYING ATTENTION??? Alright, simmer down everybody. JUST STAY CALM! I REPEAT, REMAIN CALM AND PROCEED IN AN ORDERLY FASHION.

First thing Monday morning, today, my crack-whore staff is in the process of finalizing plans with a major Philadelphia radio station for a PJ party with a famous morning-show host, where if all things work out you’ll be invited to tune-in. The press release should be flying out on the wire soon so keep a lookout here at the blog’s site for details!

But wait… THERE’S MORE!!! THIS JUST IN: Cancel your plans and mark your calendars for Memorial Day Weekend because do we have a DO NOT MISS event for you. Gals, guys. Guys, gal. Gals who wanna be guys and guys who wanna be one of the gals. And those somewhere in-between, you won’t want to miss this! It’s DRAG WARS! And Yours Truly, GlindaTheGoodBitch has been asked to appear as one of three celebrity guest judges. That’s right, lil ol’ me! Saturday, May 25th, 9-11 P.M. at VLADA LOUNGE located at 331 W. 51st St., Between 8th & 9th Avenues, NYC. So be there or this bitch will cut you! For more details go to https://www.facebook.com/events/429576917138712/?ref=ts&fref=ts.

And lastly — perhaps at the end of the day we were all meant to get something out of the harsh reality that my post was accidentally deleted by its author, me, and prevented you from your fix of Glinda, coupled with having no choice but to exercise the virtue of patience. Did something about my post not getting published on-time make you you feel anything? Did you miss me? I know my family probably didn’t. My husband definitely didn’t. My point is, I’d like to look at this whole experience in a positive way instead of dwelling on the negative because I’ve done enough of that! It’s time to move on or move the fuck off. No point to it all if you’re gonna bitch about things that aren’t worth bitching about. That’s my point and my catch phrase. GlindaTheGoodBitch… Bitching About All Things Worth Bitching About™!

So look for Potential sweepstakes winners be warned coming to the blog soon, and be on the look out for all the posts and updates I just droned on about and for even more fun stuff here on the blog and remember to spread your legs… CRAP… I mean the word about my blog. NOW GO… spread!

Ta ta for now,
<3Glinda<3

P.S. From my lip’s to Her (God’s) ear’s–it could be…–in today’s mail another one of those piece-of-shit sweepstake offers arrived! What are the odds?

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6 Responses to Sorry there hasn’t been a post for a while. Here’s the reason why…

  1. Steven George says:

    Glinda, Glinda, Glinda.. what are we going to do with you?! I am so very sorry for your loss of your masterpiece that is now floating around in technology limbo. I too can say (with a whimper..and a tear) I too know of the pain of loosing such a precious piece of writing. That is why I now am a firm believer in the old advise of a teacher “Remember to save your work and save often, like once every 5 mins, and save in multiple locations!”
    Well there be my little piece of shared advise to you. Hope it helps ya.

    Steven G

    • Yes, proving even this old gal can learn a thing or two! But just so you know… I usually write and save my work on other programs, but since this blogsite is relatively new to me, I didn’t know there is no auto-save feature. However, there is no excuse for my mistake. I should have written the piece elsewhere first. You are right! You know what they say about excuses. “Excuses are like assholes. We all have them and the all stink!” I know… that is terribly vulgar, BUT TRUE!

      But thank you for so being so candid with me. Nonetheless I hope you enjoyed the post. Now begone with you so Glinda can have her warm milk and martini back, Steven, LOL! Just kidding of course… or am I? Keep ‘following’ me as I skip down my own little yellow brick road!

      Ta ta for now,
      <3Glinda<3

  2. Penny says:

    Hello Glinda, I too am very sorry to read that you lost that much hard work and time. Do not feel like you are the only one out there that technology has a problem with (or is it the other way around.. hehehe) My other half (my Steven) is always there to come to my rescue when he see’s or hears me getting into too much trouble. Thank God for someone being out there to understand some of this tech stuff, cause well I don’t all of the time.
    As to you being on Drag Wars, I would love to say a very big CONGRATS! I hope you have a load of fun.

    I love coming back to read more from your blog.

    P.S. save a martini for me..lol

    • Oh Love,

      Perhaps you Penny, should be in the business of dispensing love and warm fuzzies. All of a sudden I am worry-free and ready to take on the world and the piece I accidentally deleted. Hang a shingle girlfrien’ and turn the world on with that smile I can feel from Oz!

      Steven is a lucky man and Glinda’s one lucky Bitch to have fans like you,

      <3Glinda<3

  3. Michael says:

    Dear Glinda…I’m sure once you sit back down to your computer, the words will flow right out of you…like…uh…never mind…you know what I mean! Hugs!

    • Yes, Love… It’s nearly ready for publishing you naught little boy! (Just the way Glinda like’s ’em!) And yes, of course I know what you mean… dirty minds think alike.

      Ta ta from one dirty-girly to another,
      <3Glinda<3

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