A free world political map published by the U.S. Central Intelligence Agency
In just shortly over two months, we have managed to travel our way into 17 countries and onto 5 continents. Glinda is so excited she’s busting at the seams! She’s starting to beat herself with her own wand!!! But we can’t stop here. There’re still two more continents to go before this bitch’ll hit the high note and find her “G” for-Glinda spot! So that’s where you come in my G to-the Awjus fans who got me here, and don’t think I don’t know and that I’m not humbled by it or that I don‘t owe you all a debt of gratitude for it. For without you, I realize I have no one to write for or blog to maintain, but for myself. And for all that I say, “Thank you, one and all. To each of you personally, a heartfelt Glinda goober smooch!”
Now here’s where my little favor comes in. You don’t think I dole these goober smooches out for nothin’, do ya? First of all, they’re costly… why I risk an S-T-D every time I thrust my tongue down each fan’s throat! Okay, here’s what ya gotta do. If you now anyone, I mean anyone… friend, frenemy, foe, business associate, whateva Darling, create one simple email or “Email Blast” and remember to blind carbon copy it so as to mind the privacy of your peeps. As far as your foes go, well then just fuck’em, who cares! Remind them of who I am, what I’m all about, and how important I am in your life. Then tell them about the important milestone we’ve hit together, how lil ol’ you helped me achieve it, and tell them how they can get involved too. And be sure to tell them to spread their legs about GlindaTheGoodBitchdotcom.wordpress.com and to “Follow” it. Damn, their I go again, I mean “THE WORD.” SPREAD THE WORD! Plus don’t forget about Myspace, Twitter, and my Facebook page (GlindaTheGoodBitch) which is still in need of being “Liked”.
Fun surprises are just around the corner at GlindaTheGoodBitch.com and the only way to find out about them is to follow me at the blog. “What’s that you say, Glinda, we’d really love to see more of that fabulous you, but on camera or in a video perhaps?” Be careful about what you wish for because you asked for it and now you’re gonna get it! It’s yours truly coming to a desktop, tablet, iPhone, iPod, or any video-capable internet device really soon!
So as your most grateful Leader of the Bitches goes, I sign off with sincerest gratitude for the accomplishment we made together and reminding you to get your asses in gear NOW SO WE CAN PUT GLINDA HERSELF ON THE MAP. NOW GIT!
*Of the 195 widely recognized Sovereign States. Source: Political Geography Now (www.polgeonow.com/2011/04/how-many-countries-are-there-in-world.html)