I’m so excited about this I almost peed my Glinda panties typing it on the keyboard getting it ready to deliver to YOU, THE PEOPLE I LIVE TO BITCH AND BLOG FOR!

Yours truly is proud to present MY FIRST VIDEO!!!

HOWEVER… Before we premiere it here, I’m asking you to do me a little favor. Here’s what’s happening. This really cool dude Aaron at AlphaMconsulting, a YouTube channel, is sponsoring a contest in conjunction with Male Basics Underwear called the “Male Basics Underwear Makeover Contest.” He and the owner of Male Basics put together a doozy of a contest so your blogstress spent a couple of days on the set grueling over her lines before production was wrapped. Well I think we did a bang-up job and think you’re gonna love it, but to win the contest and the undies you got VOTE for me EVERYWHERE you can. At YOUTUBE, FACEBOOK, TWITTER, AND MYSPACE because every vote counts. That’s right, EVERY VOTE COUNTS! But if voting more than once isn’t for you, cool. Please do it at least once at using the link below but you must be a registered user. And don’t freak out because if you’re not one, becoming one is easy and only takes a minute and requires an email address plus the benefits of being a subscriber are fantastic! If you’re not already one you’ll soon find out why when you sign-up AND it’s FREE! For your vote to count, you must be sure the thumbs-up icon below the video and on the left-hand side, turns green for the vote to register at the YouTube site or it won’t count.

So please, give a girl, er, a boy, er, a girl, er, your GlindaTheGoodBitch a hand AND VOTE EVERYWHERE YOU CAN and tell EVERYONE you can so we can score ourselves a victory on July 4th when Aaron announces the winner at his YouTube channel.

So what are you waiting for… GIT TO VOTING!!! Here’s the link: GO NOW!!!


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WOO-HOO! Glinda’s in 17 countries! Only 178* more to go!


A free world political map published by the U.S. Central Intelligence Agency

In just shortly over two months, we have managed to travel our way into 17 countries and onto 5 continents. Glinda is so excited she’s busting at the seams! She’s starting to beat herself with her own wand!!! But we can’t stop here. There’re still two more continents to go before this bitch’ll hit the high note and find her “G” for-Glinda spot! So that’s where you come in my G to-the Awjus fans who got me here, and don’t think I don’t know and that I’m not humbled by it or that I don‘t owe you all a debt of gratitude for it. For without you, I realize I have no one to write for or blog to maintain, but for myself. And for all that I say, “Thank you, one and all. To each of you personally, a heartfelt Glinda goober smooch!”

Now here’s where my little favor comes in. You don’t think I dole these goober smooches out for nothin’, do ya? First of all, they’re costly… why I risk an S-T-D every time I thrust my tongue down each fan’s throat! Okay, here’s what ya gotta do. If you now anyone, I mean anyone… friend, frenemy, foe, business associate, whateva Darling, create one simple email or “Email Blast” and remember to blind carbon copy it so as to mind the privacy of your peeps. As far as your foes go, well then just fuck’em, who cares! Remind them of who I am, what I’m all about, and how important I am in your life. Then tell them about the important milestone we’ve hit together, how lil ol’ you helped me achieve it, and tell them how they can get involved too. And be sure to tell them to spread their legs about and to “Follow” it. Damn, their I go again, I mean “THE WORD.” SPREAD THE WORD! Plus don’t forget about Myspace, Twitter, and my Facebook page (GlindaTheGoodBitch) which is still in need of being “Liked”.

Fun surprises are just around the corner at and the only way to find out about them is to follow me at the blog. “What’s that you say, Glinda, we’d really love to see more of that fabulous you, but on camera or in a video perhaps?” Be careful about what you wish for because you asked for it and now you’re gonna get it! It’s yours truly coming to a desktop, tablet, iPhone, iPod, or any video-capable internet device really soon!

So as your most grateful Leader of the Bitches goes, I sign off with sincerest gratitude for the accomplishment we made together and reminding you to get your asses in gear NOW SO WE CAN PUT GLINDA HERSELF ON THE MAP. NOW GIT!

Lovingly yours,

*Of the 195 widely recognized Sovereign States. Source: Political Geography Now (

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Hail to the



Hail to the V. Really? What about Hail to the Dick? Or, Hail to the Penis?

Do we really need this shit on television, radio, and plastered all over magazines, and everywhere else these feminine hygiene companies can buy ad space? Glinda says, “GET RID OF IT ALL!!!”

From the aforementioned, to subway ads, bus stops to billboards and do us all a favor and do us all a favor, take a good hot fucking bath and learn some dent hygiene habits or maintain the ones your mama or daddy taught your as a kid growing up.

And this includes yeast infections. Granted, they happen, but do we have to clog up good advertising space on TV that, God only knows, greater than 50% of the market doesn’t need to be burdened with seeing and hearing? Look, what I’m saying is if you’re taking are of yourself you won’t need it. If you’re engaging in sex, promiscuous or otherwise, use a condom. This can’t hurt matters.

If you’re not, don’t preclude the thought of needing to discreetly visit a doctor. You can either visit a convenient healthcare facility, some of which are even situated in neighborhood supermarkets and charge a nominal fee for an exam or seek help through your local government health agency. But for crissakes! If the media’s going to drone on about hailing to the “V” as relentlessly as they have been on behalf of the hygiene product manufacturers for the past couple of years, then I say it’s only fair to Hail to the “Dick” or Hail to the “Penis” too!

It’s only fair. After all, so many of us, especially women, believe in equal rights. How are you gonna fight that, City Hall? A situation like this could evoke a case of penis envy in Supreme Court and that lead to nothing but yet more wasteful tax dollars. But really people, just get rid of this crap once and for all. Take care of it on your own time. Unless of course advertisers come a-knockin’ at Glinda’s door when she becomes rich and famous. Then I may change my mind the way gals have the prerogative to change theirs.

Have I covered all the “V”ases, oops… I mean bases?

Ta ta for now,

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Welcome Aboard Nicole P!

GlindaTheGoodBitch is pleased to announce that after a tireless global search for only the bestest bitchiness can buy, that we have added a new team member to our growing family.

It is with great pride that introduce to our blogosphere audience Nicole P., our Copy-Editor who joins us here at the Executive GTGB Corporate Offices conveniently located on the 69th floor of their skyscraper in the other Oz. So now there’s someone besides Glinda to blame any typos, grammatical errors or what have you.

Thank goodness the heat’s off for this bitch. It was becoming a bit too much.

Nicole, it’s all yours, Kiddo! Best of luck! You have your work cut out for you, but you’re guaranteed to have a ball… or two or more if we get a coupla more guys in here!

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Remember to “Like” Glinda’s Facebook page


© 2013 Facebook


Hey Everyone,

It’s very important for me, Glinda, to do one thing first. And that one thing is thank you all from the bottom of my heart for all the love and support that has poured in from you all. Why it just brings a tear to my one good eye. It inspires me to continue writing and bringing justice to the fucktards, cuntards, muntards and generals assholes of the world! And for that I thank you.

And on the note, for your added pleasure I recently designed a GlindaTheGoodBitch Facebook page which at this moment in time looks a wee-bit lame since it only has about 29 people who have checked it out and “Like” it so far. So do your ol’gal Glinda a solid and check it out, won’t you? It’s easy. Just log into Facebook and type in GlindaTheGoodBitch under “Search for people, places and things” and voila! You’ll see my and my peepers pop-up once again and be sure to hit the “Like” button.

And no, I’m not Telly Savalas from that 1970’s Kojak crime drama television series, but if things were different I may have been his wife and Jennifer Aniston’s Auntie-godmama, but that’s here nor there.

What I’m trying to say is, “Who loves ya, Baby? Glinda Lou Who, that’s who!”

Ta ta for now,

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Better late than never

Twitter Logo Image 2

© 2013 Twitter


As I am toiling over the next post which will have you in summer stitches, I realize the early summer heat must be getting to this ol’ gal. I forgot to put this post out informing you all of Glinda’s grand leap into the 21st century.

Y’all ain’t gonna believe this shit! You see, on the way to the venue last Saturday night for the show DRAG WARS with the incomparable duo Ike Avelli and Miz Cracker, you won’t believe what happened to yours truly? NO, I didn’t have a baby in the backseat of the cab BUT I did deliver something else that was equally fabulous, Darling!!! And just for you… Glinda’s new Twitter account!

Now you have another way to keep in touch and keep it real with your favorite hostess with the mostess, GlindaTheGoodBitch! Tweet me, send me your Retweets (I like leftovers, I‘m not picky) pictures, hash and tags, and hashtags, too! Woo-hoo! Glinad’s willing to try just about anything at her age. So follow me or you know what’s gonna happen… I’m startin’ to think you like that sorta’ thing. If you don’t Tweet then why not start today by opening your free account and tell the folks at Twitter Glinda sent you.

Ta ta for now and Happy Tweeting,

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Potential sweepstakes winners be warned


© Can Stock Photo Inc. / karenr

[L] Strong Language: This blog may not be suitable for all visitors. Some material may contain sensitive subject matter including adult language. Thank you.

Be warned of those prize patrol vans that are NOT showing up at your door with those humongous grand prize checks and balloons. For the life of me I can’t figure out how they get away with it for so long. Granted, there are some reputable mail-order houses out there. In fact I’m quite fond of one of them and I even find their products terrific, but in reality I don’t expect my doorbell to ring anytime soon with one of their grand prizes.

HOWEVER, recently my mailbox hath runneth over with offers from companies in the Midwest mostly, advising me that I can win a million dollars if I send them a modest fee of $12 to upwards of $25 in some cases. Fans and friends of Glinda I ask you: Do you know how many vulnerable, desperate people in today’s economy will take their last $12-25 and look up to the Lord and say, “Please, let it be me!”?

There are countless victims everyday my friends. And this bullshit has to stop. I never thought I would see the day when the world be as fucked-up as it is today, but we’ve all got to make our way through these tough times and these fucktards aren’t helping any. They are common criminals and this is organized crime of some sort because it’s happening right under our very eyes! It’s being delivered to our homes in our mailboxes which means the United States Postal Service approves of it to some degree since it hasn’t been detected by our ace government officials as fraud yet. For Pete’s sake, if Glinda can figure this shit out, maybe I should be running the CIA or FBI or AA or ABC or XYZ or whatever the fuck else!

Let me explain how this whole bitch-fest started. A couple of months ago, your Queen of The Bitches, The Bitch that all other bitches report to, received one these bullshit prize notifications in the mail. Well boy oh boy, was I thrilled! Yeah, right. NOT! You know why? Because something about it didn’t sit right with me. And when your gut tells you something, LISTEN! So I decided to put my little Glinda, P.I. hat on and guess what I found out? A Google search revealed the scumbag company showed up on Ripoff Reports ( within a matter of milliseconds. Color me surprised.

A few weeks later I received another one. ‘Tis must be the season. I figured this deserved a write-up to my faithful fans after a bit of research. I am amazed at the number of douche-ey companies out there taking advantage of anyone who will drop a couple of dollars in an envelope hoping their prayers will be answered. And I even found a company that alleges to actually maintain an inventory but receives nothing but complaints according to the Better Business Bureau and Ripoff Report from customers who don‘t receive ordered merchandise, or return phone calls, or refunds, et ceteras. your or you go to sites like Ripoff and read comments from the people who post them . But the truth of the matter is this. These fucktards are out there bilking honest citizens globally out of their hard-earned money. Honest, but poor single women with children, single men with children, the elderly, you name it… they’ll stop at no class in particular. The people who own and work for these companies can’t possibly have scruples or moral compasses or souls that hail from anywhere north of Hell’s toll plaza because if they did they wouldn‘t sleep at night.

At Ripoff Report and other sites like it, victims and concerned citizens alike write in from all over the world/globe in devastation over how they were conned out of money thinking they had either won or been duped into thinking they had an awful good chance of winning based on some clever writing or gimmick. In other words these assholes who prey on these perfect targets that they most certainly bought their names from other real organizations. So much for privacy. Another matter that should be brought before the Supreme Court. Or should it wait until these douche bags have drained every one of us of every penny we have before [they] do something about it; such as when traffic lights are finally installed at dangerous intersections.

There’s this one outfit in Texas and another in Kansas who are relentless in their marketing efforts and collecting nominal fees to the tune of between $5, $10 and $25 implying that your life will somehow change if all you do is send in the relatively small fee required to process and handle the paperwork necessary that could potentially change your life.

Can you say, “Asstards?” You know how much Glinda enjoys coining new words. Asstard, n. a person, male or female, who acts irresponsible and reckless in their behavior where social graces, common etiquette, and/or their general disregard for fellow humans is concerned.

So how can we do our part? Well your good ol’ gal Glinda has come up with at least part of the solution. It may not fix the entire problem, but it’ll screw ‘em six ways ‘til Sunday until the feds or other regulatory bodies have their turn giving it to them up the ass. Now listen up guys and dolls because this is what we all have to do, so off we go:

Step 1. Google the entity to be sure the offer is fraudulent. Ripoff Report and Snopes are two really good sources if you’re not sure where to start.
Step 2. Be sure to remove your name and address, barcodes. and anything else on the document that can be traced back to you on the document. (THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT.)
Now this is where it really gets fun, so pay attention.
Step 3. Across the body using a relatively thick black magic marker, (Sharpie is my choice brand) write the words, “SCAMMING FUCKTARDS!”
Then, just when you thought it couldn’t get any better, it does.
Step 4. Copy the address only to the return-address portion of the convenient envelope they provided for you. DO NOT WRITE THE NAME OF THE COMPANY BECAUSE THIS CAN RAISE A RED FLAG TO THE POSTAL SERVICE. And be certain NOT to include postage when dropping the letter in the postbox. That way, when they receive it, expecting more moolah to fatten their undeserving bank accounts, what they will get is a bill from the Postmaster telling them to cough-up the .46 cents for postage due since someone has to pay for the time and expense of the US Postal Service for delivering the letter to them. And since it can’t be traced back to anyone else, they have to pick up the tab. So fuck you, each and everyone of you, you asstard-sweepstake-fucktards (Nicole, should I capitalize any of that “asstard-sweepstake-fucktards?”) who screw and scam hardworking citizens and rob them of their dreams. Fuck you all! Or Fuck all of you!

Ta ta for now,

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Sorry there hasn’t been a post for a while. Here’s the reason why…


[L] Strong Language: This blog may not be suitable for all visitors. Some material may contain sensitive subject matter including adult language. Thank you.

My Dearest Blog Fans,

Oh, my patient Darlings! Not since the Titantic hit that beast of an iceberg in the Atlantic has such a disaster of catastrophic proportion put this bitch into such a tailspin. Well OMG, Glinda? What happened, for goodness sakes? Tell us! Well then, I’ll tell you………………… “And oh, what happened then was rich. The house began to pitch. The kitchen took a slitch. It landed on the Wicked Witch in the middle of a ditch, which was not a healthy situation for the Wicked Witch.” Well, you get the rest. Oy!

In case you didn’t figure it out, those are the lyrics to “Munchkin Land from the Wizard of Oz. All kidding aside, this is what actually happened to your happy-little-blogger-hostest-with-the-moistest… oops, I mean the mostest! It’s so hard to make this horrendous and very long story short. Why do I even bother to say short? I mean it took me 12 hours to write a symphony of words which as any author knows can NEVER be written the same way twice. Okay, here’s what actually happened: I accidentally deleted my post just after I uploaded a photo I purchased for the post to the draft.

Okay, there. I said it. They say it always gets easier once you say it out loud and accept it. So there, my each and every Sweetum; my individual inspiration for moving forward; my each and every fan who make up a fan base so meaningful to me that I don’t even know where to begin to express my gratitude.

But if I did, I would begin here. And now. With a promise to change the practice of how I write my drafts for Glinda’s blog, I will take a step forward in time and make this declaration. I, GlindaTheGoodBitch, do hereby promise to use a word processor with an auto-save feature to write my posts for the blog instead of writing them directly at the blog’s site, like my dear friend Ike told me he does as suggested by his pimp. (Right, Ike?)


I would like to share this with all of you. I was literally beside myself in the early hours of the morning, 12 hours after I began the composition, as I mourned the loss of my symphony. Not only did I feel the deep loss of a friend of mine, but I felt the loss for a friend of yours too that you hadn’t the pleasure of meeting yet. It was truly one of the saddest moments of my life. Yes, I cried glittery-Glinda tears. I spent hours on the phone with everyone I knew who knew anything-and-everything about computers asking if there was anyway I could do to retrieve my new best friend. But they said the odds were slim to none. Most likely, none. I had no choice but to raise the white flag and surrender so I could move forward. I knew it’s what I had to do. It’s what I was raised to do. It’s what I raised my own kids to do. And so I did. I was only a couple of days away from the one month anniversary of the Glinda blog and thanks to you, my fans, and despite the fact that I was not able to publish the very anticipated Potential sweepstakes winners be warned, the site miraculously surpassed 1,000 hits on the night of the One Month Anniversary! THANK YOU, FANS! Thank you, each and every one of you! I thank you from the bottom of my heart. A smooch to each of you from me, GlindaTheGoodBitch! :{} Yes, Glinda’s eyes are green as you can see in my photo. I owe it all to you and I pray you keep tuning in for more. And in return I will strive to write my best for you and outwit my last witty remark and most recent snarky tongue lashing. It’s what I’m good at. I just hope you’re not my next victim, LOL!

So please be patient for just an itsy-bitsy longer and I’ll reward you with a new post that is on the brink of “coming out” [WOO HOO — “LEONARD” THE PRIZE DUCK DROPS FROM THE CEILING — THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE TOO YOUNG TO GET THAT REFERENCE GO TO BED NOW!] The reference comes from the show, You Bet Your Life, hosted by the incomparable Groucho Marx with announcer George Fenneman. A toy duck resembling Groucho with a mustache and eyeglass, and with a cigar in its bill, descended from the ceiling with a $100 bill. If the contestant(s) said the “secret word” during the interview portion of the program, they won a cash prize. And NO, Glinda’s not THAT OLD! She just enjoyed the reruns, that’s all. Harrumph!

Alrighty then, where was I? Oh yes, “coming out”. Coming out to replace what, Glinda? Coming out to replace THE FUCKING POST I DELETED!!! WEREN’T YOU PAYING ATTENTION??? Alright, simmer down everybody. JUST STAY CALM! I REPEAT, REMAIN CALM AND PROCEED IN AN ORDERLY FASHION.

First thing Monday morning, today, my crack-whore staff is in the process of finalizing plans with a major Philadelphia radio station for a PJ party with a famous morning-show host, where if all things work out you’ll be invited to tune-in. The press release should be flying out on the wire soon so keep a lookout here at the blog’s site for details!

But wait… THERE’S MORE!!! THIS JUST IN: Cancel your plans and mark your calendars for Memorial Day Weekend because do we have a DO NOT MISS event for you. Gals, guys. Guys, gal. Gals who wanna be guys and guys who wanna be one of the gals. And those somewhere in-between, you won’t want to miss this! It’s DRAG WARS! And Yours Truly, GlindaTheGoodBitch has been asked to appear as one of three celebrity guest judges. That’s right, lil ol’ me! Saturday, May 25th, 9-11 P.M. at VLADA LOUNGE located at 331 W. 51st St., Between 8th & 9th Avenues, NYC. So be there or this bitch will cut you! For more details go to

And lastly — perhaps at the end of the day we were all meant to get something out of the harsh reality that my post was accidentally deleted by its author, me, and prevented you from your fix of Glinda, coupled with having no choice but to exercise the virtue of patience. Did something about my post not getting published on-time make you you feel anything? Did you miss me? I know my family probably didn’t. My husband definitely didn’t. My point is, I’d like to look at this whole experience in a positive way instead of dwelling on the negative because I’ve done enough of that! It’s time to move on or move the fuck off. No point to it all if you’re gonna bitch about things that aren’t worth bitching about. That’s my point and my catch phrase. GlindaTheGoodBitch… Bitching About All Things Worth Bitching About™!

So look for Potential sweepstakes winners be warned coming to the blog soon, and be on the look out for all the posts and updates I just droned on about and for even more fun stuff here on the blog and remember to spread your legs… CRAP… I mean the word about my blog. NOW GO… spread!

Ta ta for now,

P.S. From my lip’s to Her (God’s) ear’s–it could be…–in today’s mail another one of those piece-of-shit sweepstake offers arrived! What are the odds?

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Honey Boo WHAT?



© 2013 ANE Productions, Inc.,

In partnership with Warner Brothers

[L] Strong Language: This blog may not be suitable for all visitors. Some material may contain sensitive subject matter including adult language. Thank you.

You know, when I first heard about this cutesy baby wanna-be-beauty-pageant-queen, I thought WHAT THE FUCK? It took me a while to really grab the concept of what this angel and her Mama June were sent here from heaven to deliver, and that message is to be yourself, no matter your form; be generous; but above all, BE  YOURSELF.

Unlike many of the so-called and self-proclaimed reality stars grabbing their 15 minutes of fame, soon-to-be 8-year-old Alana Thompson, known the world over as Honey Boo Boo, along with her family, led by their matriarch, Mama June Shannon, is one real-ity star. I think it’s just taken some of us longer than others to realize.  (After all, I’m much too busy ridiculing the likes of the Shmartrashians and their matriarch… the almighty self-professed pimp/whore-beast master of her very own high-flying family circus.) I never thought I’d give their reality television show on TLCHere Comes Honey Boo Boo, or their lives a chance, but I finally had to cave-in to all the hype. Boy, am I glad I did! I learned something about them and about myself. They are a kind and loving people who do give the shirts off their backs and more.

Yeah, they’re a bit odd-ballish at times, but what family isn’t? It’s those that are willing to go on national TV and share it with everyone else who are my heroes. So, what I’m saying is give peace a chance; give hope; and GIVE HONEY BOO BOO & MAMA JUNE a chance to grace their way into your hearts. You will be as surprised as I was to learn what they have to offer.

Could be this kid be the next GlindaTheGoodBitch in the making? Honey Boo Boo, that’s who!

Ta ta for now,


P.S. This week I had a brush with fame when the incomparable Amy Schumer favorited one of my Tweets. Watch Amy Schumer on Comedy Central on Tuesdays at 10:30/9:30c and wherever else she’s performing. She’s H to-the ilarious! Here’s a link to Inside Amy Schumer: Bad Decisions – Uncensored from Comedy Central.–bad-decisions—uncensored-season-1-ep-101 Fasten your seat belts and get ready for just under 21 minutes of side-splitting, rip-roaring hilarity!

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Get ready to be…

[L] Strong Language: This blog may not be suitable for all visitors. Some material may contain sensitive subject matter including adult language. Thank you.
The following paraphrased dialog is between myself and a friend that took place on April 3, 2013. It started when she sent me an email with the subject line Michelle Shocked trying to “live up to her name”. She writes to me:
“Anchored down in Anchorage” is the only thing that she can claim fame to, so I suppose she wanted something to “find her way back to the spotlight.”  What an ASSHOLE! That’s not being authentic… that’s being HATEFUL! Learn the difference, BEYOTCH!!!know the difference bitch!!!
Note: Followers and New Readers to the blog alike, it will be necessary to view the following video links to make any sense of the the remaining conversation.
In reply, I wrote:
Okay, where to begin. You have me so fucking unraveled. THIS IS ONE FUCKED-UP NON-HUMAN CHICK!!! (I will be quoting myself later in my new blog, GlindaTheGoodBitch, it’s true, Google me, I just created it… even paid for it! I own it. It’s all mine, mi pequeña niña! [my little girl!] OMG!
This cuntard (sorry ’bout that) must be extinguished like a plague. Shocked is pure evil. she is not and should not be referred to as “she” for that would imply she is human. EXTINGUISH IT! Period. Just my 2 cents.
Now I urge you to pay very close attention to her “apology” when she appeared on Piers Morgan Live  at the beginning of the month to offer her explanation and alleged apology. Why it was no apology at all. She makes a mockery of the gay community but in the bigger picture, she makes a fool of herself.
Now perhaps, you understand why I, Glinda, enjoy the occasional coinage of words, as in this case, cuntard, n. a female who like her male counterpart known as the munt, acts irresponsible and reckless in their behavior where social graces, common etiquette, and/or their general disregard for fellow humans is concerned.
So with that said, I implore you all to take the addition few minutes it will take to view the two links above if you haven’t already and remember to post your comments so we can get some get the current flowing with this one, pardon the pun. And as always, spread the word as is still in its infancy and relies on its support from readers like you! I hope you enjoyed this post.
Ta ta for now,
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